playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
