Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
