I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Randomize
