My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
