hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
