she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
