ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
