there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
