So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
