Buhtt sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
