The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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