please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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