come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i now understand why vodka
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
