can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
