I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
