I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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