Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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