I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
