thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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