hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
