A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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