He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
