New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
