you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
