she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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