He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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