Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
