My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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