Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
