I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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