Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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