I can text with my tongue
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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