They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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