Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
