exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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