Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
