margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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