I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
