how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
