I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
