College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Less talking, more tequila
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
