the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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