I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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