Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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