dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
