This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
