It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
