Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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