I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
