dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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