I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
