I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
