I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
