I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
