its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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