u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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