So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
