You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
