Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
