I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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