I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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