Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
