OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
